vendredi 05242002

sometimes, i wonder how i could have messed up things so badly. it's a few weeks before the end of my fourth year of high school, the end of what are supposed to be the best years of my life. i messed up badly, and i will be returning for a fifth year, while all the people i grew up with will be moving on to new horizons. i will never see or speak to most of these people again, except for a few online conversations, perhaps. i didn't think school was important, i didn't think anything was important. the best years of my life marked the lowest point for me. and.. just when i start fixing things, just when i start getting better, just when i start figuring out this whole social interaction thing, it slips away..

if i could say one thing to the newer generations, it would be that school is important, friends are important, and they will be the best years of your life, if you let them. don't make the same mistakes i did.. cherish your life now. these moments will never come again.

sometimes, i wish i could do it all again, and this time, get it right. but i can't.. i may have wasted my life until now, but i can still do something about my future. and i don't intend to mess up again.

17:49

jeudi 05232002

last night, i dreamed of the destruction of the world.

i dreamed that i was sitting on a park bench in a cool spring night, with what seemed to be a significant other. we were having idle conversation, unknowing of our fate. we looked up in unison and saw a giant asteroid burning in the atmosphere, deadly yet beautiful, eventually crushing into a city in the distance. we turned to each other, and at that time all we knew was our love. we embraced and kissed, fading into oblivion.

who would've thought apocolypse could be so perfect.

21:22